Nothing could've prepared me for this

I'd been preparing myself for this moment since the first time I met Jesse, when I quickly texted my friend exclaiming I'd just met my future husband.  I'd been preparing for this moment since he and I first started dating, quickly realizing I'd never in my life felt so comfortable with anyone before.  I'd been preparing for this moment since the first night Jesse and I decided to become official, after promising him the best and most memorable ten months of his life (after spending the prior two together) before I took off to school in England.

Through every flawless and breathtaking memory we'd created over the past year, I'd simultaneously appreciate the effortless perfection of it... fully accepting the imminent reality of having to leave him in September.  I think, in a way, us knowing there was a time limit on building the foundation of our relationship made us truly appreciate every moment of it.

Knowing it was coming doesn't make my heart ache any less.  I'm not sure any amount of televised warnings and gradual collection of canned goods could've ever prepared me for the storm that's erupting inside of me right now.

Saying goodbye to Jesse was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  Saying goodbye is never easy but I feel completely empty without him.  That may be disgusting drastic for most of you but if you've ever experienced true unconditional love (the kind that makes other people want to throw up), you'll be smitten with my words.  We stood for fifteen minutes at his check-in area, locked in the most heartbreaking embrace... the kind where you try to memorize everything, so that letting go isn't so difficult while the feeling still lingers.  He still lingers.  I can feel his hand on my knee, his kiss on my cheek, and his hand delicately enveloping the back of my neck.