The ideas are just bubbling out of me and I've never been so motivated. I can't go five minutes without whipping out my sketchbook and scribbling down a slew of creative concepts.
The focus, thus far, has been for me to simply explore and experiment... to let go of thinking about an "end project". Thinking about the final art piece does nothing but stunt my growth. So once I allow myself the freedom to play, I can really explore and perhaps accidentally stumble upon brilliance within myself.
I came here with the purpose of exploring an issue that's been prominent within my artwork the last couple of years while struggling with my role as a woman in society. I've been primarily interested in the objectification of women, the ideologies of "beauty" that exist in our society that we are bombarded with every day, and gender stereotypes. Over the last few years I realized that my art can be a useful tool in expressing ideas that I'm passionate about.
So, while here, there was a recent shift in what I want to explore.
I was recently approached by a woman who, too, identifies herself as a feminist. She basically said she found it interesting that I identify myself as a feminist, preaching against women objectification while presenting myself the way that I do. I was flabbergasted and appalled. Just because I wear lipstick doesn't mean I can't be a feminist. Just because I sport false eyelashes and sometimes wear clip-in hair extensions doesn't mean I can't be a feminist. Just be yourself, I'm often told, while I cover up my blemished skin with foundation. Don't you understand? This is myself. Can't I be a feminist while simultaneously realizing that I fall victim to wanting to attain society's unattainable notion of "beauty"? I've been subtly battered and conditioned into believing that this is who I am. All of my life I've worn makeup; so, now, if I go out without foundation and lipstick, I don't feel like myself. This is who I am. Feminist. Lipstick and all. I wear it, but I'm aware of why I do. I recognize I love wearing it because the larger world tells me I need is to be "pretty" (57).
I now strive to shed some light on the word, feminist. It's such a dirty, ugly word. I think most women (and men) are feminists but they don't acknowledge it because they can't get past all the stigma and stereotypes built up in this dirty F-word.
The fight is not over. Equality does not yet exist. And I will continue to bitch, vent, and rant until people can finally see what I do. Women, yes, have made progress but the fight is far from over. Things aren't really hunky dory when many of us are starving ourselves, throwing up our meals, getting raped and beaten up, being denied birth control and being bombarded constantly with: "DON'T HAVE SEX BUT BE SEXY". Not to mention a million of other things that make us feel shitty. Shit has to get better than this. And I won't stop bitching, venting, and ranting until it does (10).
"Do you think it's fair that a guy will make more money doing the same job as you? Does it piss you off and scare you when you find out about your friends getting raped? Do you ever feel like shit about your body? Do you ever feel like something is wrong with you because you don't fit into this bizarre ideal of what girls are supposed to be like?Well, my friend, I hate to break it to you, but you're a hardcore feminist. I swear"(6).
I'm just struggling on where I stand as a woman and a feminist and I'm exploring all of these frustrations through different works.
i'm a girl but...
i grow body hair
i love camping and fishing
i hate to cook
i enjoy sports
i don't wear skirts
i hate shopping
i'm messy and unorganized
i'm a feminist but...
i have a boyfriend
i wear lipstick
i sport false eyelashes
i have hair extensions
i want to get married
iron clothes and wash dishes
paint my fingernails
Valenti, Jessica. Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide To Why Feminism Matters. Berkeley: Seal Press, 2007. Print.
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